Tending to your personal AND career goals

I was speaking with a friend who, despite being in the early stages of his career, is giving thought as to which city/state he'd like to settle down in.  While he's single and focusing on his work, he's remaining mindful of his personal life and goals.

I was a bit shocked when he told me this because I rarely hear such things from men who are of a similar age (early 30s).  The majority of my young, single male friends are in a "tunnel vision" mode, and they're holding off on relationships and even thinking about the "r" word.  According to them, they want to be established and able to support their family before heading that route.  While that's of course a noble, understandable and respectable decision, that lifestyle comes with a risk.

I have a few close single male friends about 40 years +, and they're looking to get married and start a family now.  Well, they'd actually like to be walking around with kids now but they'd settle for a fast track option considering they're late in the game.  They, just like the majority of my younger male friends, were only focused on their career during their younger days and as a consequence, they're now having trouble achieving this mission. 

While these men appear to have suddenly switched on a light to say "I now want to get married," just like their successful careers needed tending and room to grow, so does a relationship.  They have no control over the dating scene (an ability that they're used to), cannot rush relationships and are now finding themselves either going for younger women (who are still fertile -- just being real, folks!) or gold diggers in disguise. 

It's saddening to think that these strong, absolutely wonderful and inspirational men are in this emotionally vulnerable situation. 

At the same time, as my friend who's city shopping shows us, it's good to know that it's possible to plan for your personal and career goals without compromising one for the other.  While he's not in a rush to get married, he is making plans now for what he wants in the coming years.